So you know something? Nobody knows how to raise a son in my family.
I ask hubs how to do it - but there's a large age gap between his siblings and himself - so he really has no clue either.
Adam fought with a boy in school. The boy Kai Ler pushed Adam until Adam hit the whiteboard and scratched his upper arm on a sharp point. Adam's shirt tore due to the impact and his wound had bled and had required the kindergarten to bring out the first aid box.
The teachers at school went quite bezerk and decided to split the 2 boys up because they always fight. So they put Adam back in the 3 year old class with teacher Winnie while Kai Ler stayed in the 4 year old class with teacher Aruna.
Teacher Aruna tried to explain that Adam was 'behind' as compared to Kai Ler in terms of writing and reading hence the suggestion to put Adam in the 3 year old class while Kai Ler could remain in the 4 year old class. In the meantime Adam can catch up.
Teacher Winnie informed that Adam always 'behaved' with her hence the suggestion.
That made Adam's mom freak out. Adam cannot stay with teacher Winnie. He is terrified of her. I would rather pull Adam out from that school before he is subjected to teacher Winnie again!
My mom and sisters went hysterical when they heard about this and asked me what the teachers were doing? Why wasnt there enough supervision? Then they concluded that Adam should change school. My mom and sisters and nanny all protested like mad that Adam was the one 'demoted' to the three year old class and not Kai Ler 'the bad child'. Why must Adam be 'demoted' ... in our family nobody has ever been demoted only promoted blah blah ....
Adam's dad thought Adam cannot move school. This is life. You cannot have everything according to your wish. In some other school some other bully will attack Adam - and quite likely Adam is also a bully himself so biarkan je ...
My friend Hani says that shrinks would also say let kids deal with peer pressure on their own. (They will be exposed to more and more pressure as they grow up anyway right?)
Then Adam's mom decided that she had better do something. She talked to teacher Aruna nicely to get this message across :
Lets see. Adam goes to school to learn. You teacher aruna, are to teach. So if he is behind - dont try to shove him somewhere else - bloody hell woman, just teach him! What's the problem? That is your job! Make sure the kids settle down and learn. Try to handle small fights now n then. Do split up kids that are always in each other's face (but not to a diff class, same class diff seating arrangement lah). I thought this should be childs play for a kindy teacher! Sigh! Ini pun mau ajar!
So teacher Aruna is now quite happily giving Adam extra attention and asking him to do more writing and reading as Adam needs 'extra coaching' to 'catch up' with other kids (who have been going to school since they were breast feeding im sure.)
Teacher Winnie tried to intervene and say Adam had best stay in her class. So Adam's mom was forced to be frank with her and say "Im sure you are very nice. But you know I dont know what happend but Adam does not like you. He is scared of you so he cannot attend your class. No matter how well behaved he is in that class."
I thought I would keep Adam in the same school. Its not easy to switch school because there is the child's emotional upheaval to consider as well. They take ages to get used to a new place.
I refuse to have Adam in Winnie's class because I thought Adam should not have to deal with an adult bullying him. Come on even if we want him to learn about life and its difficulties we have to give him demons that are his own size to be fair. He is only 3 years old.
But I dont think it should be a problem for him to be in the same class as Kai Ler. They can slug it out.
All my family members think I am heartless to keep Adam in that school.
Adam is happy in his school one minute and wants to change school the next - depends who is asking.
My husband thinks I molly coddle Adam too much ...
So anyway ... is it normal for boys to fight until clothes get torn? Did I choose the wrong school for Adam?
How do you raise a boy?
Lots more boys to raise too ... sigh!



















