Cheese Mummy!

Contractions and prayers

Ooh these contraction pains are not easy to bear - especially if like me you have been experiencing them for some weeks due to an irritable uterus, and yet have not given birth because baby is not engaged and its just not time yet. "What could be worse than this?" asks every woman who goes through them.

I guess what could be worse than this would be never having felt them. I get asked the "How does it feel like?" question quite a lot by my single friends/colleagues, simply because my contractions are a conversation piece these days.

"How is it like?" they ask, and look at me expectantly. And tho I get them every 15 minutes or so, there is just no explaining the unique feeling of a contraction. Just like there is no explaining the unique feeling of having a baby moving around inside - trying to find a comfy spot.

I do try to explain - its like a belly ache, tho not exactly, and a muscle cramp tho not quite, like someone's got a grip on your belly (tho most ppl never do get gripped by the belly … so… they couldn’t possibly imagine that).

Other mummies try to chip in and explain. And all fail to get it across. Its as bad as having to explain to Adam where the sun goes at night.

And so, I silently pray that every woman who wishes it would get a chance to experience the unique feeling of carrying a baby to term, delivering one and holding the small bundle in their arms. Its not easy to be pregnant. Its not easy to be a parent. But it is so rewarding.

At the same time I never forget to pray for baby in the tum. Dear baby in the tum, sorry about these gripping conditions you have to live in these few weeks. I hope you will be born healthy and well and hope you can come home right away with Abah and Mummy to meet your brothers.

I never fail as well to remember/realise that all I can do is to give birth. I do not have the authority to give life. So I pray to Allah to protect my baby and my family from harm. Hopefully all will be well this delivery.

At the beach

We did this ages ago. Wish I could go to the beach. That's it. The next time Adam asks to go, we will just up and go!

Michael and us

Doesn’t seem right that I did not mention that Michael Jackson died last week. He was such an icon when we were growing up. Surely he has touched everyone's heart. I loved his songs most of my life. Thot his palstic surgery results were horrible. Didn’t know what to make of his molesting those kids - dunno until today if that is true. Knew he was an absolute loon about his own kids (but did notice that they clung to him and loved him, loony as he was).

But I do know he is a wonderful entertainer and will surely miss his songs.

I cannot say anyone at my house cried when we found out Michael had died. It wasn’t like Princess Di's death when everybody cried buckets and were glued to the TV for developments!! My dad was shocked tt we were so sad during the princess's death. He was kidding around that he didn’t know we was british and tt we was related to the royal family tt we had to sob so hard. Finally he realised we were seriously crying for heavens sake and decided to observe some moments of silence.

Hubs is fascinated that I am affected by Michael's passing. So he has been doing his own fair share of ribbing. Today he opened the toilet door while I was brushing my teeth to ask me if I felt alone.

Well, now that he mentioned it, I had to admit I had been feeling quite alone. I alone felt all the pelvic and back pain and contraction pain of pregnancy. I alone had to clean house, buy groceries etc etc. I alone ….

After Id gone on for a bit I saw him shake his head and sigh. This was not what he was getting at. So I back tracked and asked him "Yes okay. I do feel alone. Why do you ask?"

Then he sang to me in his bath towel "You are not alone …. I am here with you …."

Sigh! Crazy feller! Apparently this week will be Michael week where he will entertain me with tributes to Michael Jackson.

My colleague mentioned that we hadn't discussed Michael's death in detail yet and we should. So I related this whole incident to her. She and the rest of our café bar laughed their heads off.

See, this is why I cant help but love my husband. He da funny man. He makes me laugh. :)

Imran's terrible twos

Its not like he's even 2 yet - should be 2 in September (3 months away). But he is already such a brat! Haha! Syed Imran has a vicious temper and it is flexing its muscles. Its telling all of us - especially big bro Adam that bullying Imran is not allowed!!

Imran has been a pain to nanny all the while simply because she is perhaps the only one in the house who has so far paid him so much attention. Hubs and Adam are best friends. I am soo busy these days preparing for a new baby and sorting out the house …. and what with going in and out of hospital with all my contractions etc, baby Imran has been left to his devices at times.

Not that we ignore Imran terribly - he goes with us everywhere, we stick together the four of us. But he is one of the crowd. Its not like he gets to bermanja (be pampered) by mom and dad enough. And even if he does bermanja it's with mom and less with dad who is hooked on Adam. Not easy to grab a moment away from Adam anyway because Adam is a child who loves attention and would insist on it. Adam would constantly roll call his dad to make sure he knows where Abah is at all times.

Still Imran has certainly been making himself heard these days. When he is in a tantrum everyone takes notice!! Heh heh! He looks very funny. Hops around like a small white monkey, throws himself onto the floor, rolls around on the floor, screams blue murder, pulls down folded clothes, throws toys, pulls at his own clothes and hair, sweats like anything, cries crocodile tears, gets tired and takes a breather, suddenly remembers what he was soo pissed about and screams blue murder again.

I've only seen one other human being do this - my bro Bates!! Ofcourse my bro Bates would then go into an asthma attack and then its his mom's turn to scold us all for causing the tantrum and making her son sick! Bates would never get taken to task for his tantrums which has caused a little Napoleon to be bred in our house for many years. Until today none of us know how to handle this Napoleon that my mother raised - especially my mother!!

Mark my words - NO Napoleons will be raised in my house. So Adam and Imran do not get such special treatment from their mom. Its quite fascinating to see the tantrums now and then from such a palcid child like Imran. But if it gets overboard - Imran will get a spanking just like Adam does.

Still its funny to see Adam dancing to Imran's tune for now. Adam has a very kind heart. He is generous to a fault with people he takes pity on - eg old people or smaller, helpless babies. Imran on the other hand is very aggressive when he is in a temper. So you can see how Adam would try to err 'slow talk' Imran into calming down by saying "What is it Adik? What's wrong? Who did it?" (eventho most times it was Adam himself who "did it" by pulling a toy away or taking Imran's turn on something, sigh).

Adam is three. And all of a sudden very mature and grown up. How funny to see that just a year can change a child's outlook on life. Suddenly he's off the floor and done with the tantrums. Suddenly he is looking out for his baby bro.

Im looking forward to my maternity. These false contractions of mine have enabled me to spend some time with my sons and its fun. Both boys agree on one thing "Mummy (Mama for Imran), don’t go to work. Play with us!"

I so agree ...

Read this in a blog and totally agree with the sentiment of the blogger! Here it is copied as is.

Would my life suck without you? I don’t think so. You are so self centered and when you in trouble you expect peoples to help you but when it’s time for you to return the favour wouldn’t do it. Why ? coz you are so selfish!
Some peoples expect others to do something for them but never I repeat NEVER really care wheter they would do the same thing for other human being. Aren’t you just fed up being around these kind of peoples? I know I do.
There’s time I would wish that I can just delete these kind of peoples from my life or just flush them into the toilet bowl. Well now it’s time for them to eat their own medicine coz as of now I’m just gonna treat them as badly as they would to other peoples.

Just happens that I am also totally fed up of people who like to use me and my husband's kind hearted generosity when they need something from us. But also never fail to disappoint when something small is expected of them - not that we even expect anything from these folks beyond just attending a social function or having the decency to decline ahead of time.

I am so sick of juvenile behaviour where ppl do not turn up for an occasion. When phone calls are made to confirm - you receive silence from the other line. You get that and you know they have no intent to turn up. Yet the next day when they call up and make their excuses they expect you to say 'Oh, its ok, I dont mind' and continue like before. This is just a commitment for a social function ya, not a life threatening situation or anything. If you can't count on them for this what can you count on them for honestly? Nothing that's what.

Ironically the very same people could call you a million times a day when they need a piece of advice from you. The very same people could hound you night and day to ask if they can come over to your house for a favour every weekend for months on end, if it served their purpose.

It takes all kinds to make a world perhaps. But these people are really shameless. How can they still have the nerve to face you after they do this countless times? Why do they get away with it? Guess because we let 'em in the name of 'friendship'.

I think it is time I stopped entertaining such people. There is no value added in having such friends - friends in need indeed (when they need you they show up, when they dont they won't). Hubs has told me countless times how useless such people are. How he is stuck with them because I am stuck with them and he is sick of it. Its time I realised for myself.

A name for baby

I know many couples would fight over names for children. And so did we over our first son. Well, maybe even our second son. Yes well …ummm we also have some disagreement over our third son's name.

But its not aggressive fights lah. Just fights which are really, really funny bec hubs and I are very unimaginative people when it comes to names.

I have friends who can name their kids such fantastic names ... With good meanings ... And can make those Arabic words full of "ain" sounds actually sound good to Asian ears. Heh!
But not us. Most of the time the argument is about who should name the kid (we r fobbing off the responsibility to the other) and when someone makes an attempt at it the other would immediately criticise the name and we would have a good laugh. Sigh! Sometimes I wonder if hubs and I will ever grow up and be adults over anything. ;D

When Adam was conceived I wanted to call him Adam. Hubs agreed that if it was a boy I'd get to name him and if it was a girl he would name the girl. So we were busy thinking abt the names for our respective selected genders. Finally we found out it was a boy - and hubs tried to renegotiate and say that he had a few suggestions. All were rejected by me who never goes back on a deal. Fair is fair. I will name this one as agreed. I told him he could name the next kid.

Still he gave suggestions of names I would not like, just to tease and make me mad. He never failed to think up antique names I refused to name my kid with. Adam's name list for hubs was … lets see Rustam, Wazir, Basir etc etc. Adam was almost Umar/Omar - because he came out looking really tough and we both liked the name. But then if you are going to name a kid Adam, he has to be the first child isn't it? He just has to be because Adam was the first. So Adam he was.

Then when Imran came along hubs was in power because it was his turn to name the baby. He was full of threats to choose for Imran all sorts of names that I would not like - some days he would think up very typical Malay names like Suhaimi, Ramli, Azizi, Rosli etc just to see me get all riled up. He thinks it is funny that I should think that my baby should not be just another Ramli.

Hubs was so busy thinking up names that would shock me into saying "Nooooo! Don’t you dare!" that he never really did plan on a proper name. In the last month I asked him what the baby's name would be and he really panicked!! Haha! He even told me I could go ahead and name the baby because he hadn't a clue what to call him. He would threaten that the baby will have no name if I didn’t start thinking up one soon!!

So I said, well okay since our eldest is Adam we could call this one Adrian after my unc Adrian. Well that freaked hubs out because that is soo not an Arabic/Muslim name. Hahaha! I can shock him with names he doesn’t like too you know! He immediately resumed the role of name giver tho he had no clue what to call the baby. Heh heh heh! Finally he got desperate and called the baby Imran altho I have 2 bro in laws called Imran on both sides of the family and yet another Imran would be terribly confusing in the family. Still we love the name Imran. So Imran he was. Incidentally he almost became Najib bec my name starts with N and baby Imran was so ill in ICU that we did not have time to register his name. So all the ICU folks called him Najib.

Incidentally I also read a Quranic verse around the time Imran was born that Allah is grateful to the families of Ibrahim (Ibrahim's descendents are prophets mainly for the Jews and Mohammad's family is also from the same family tree) and Imran (Mary's/Isa's (Jesus's) family) and that Allah honours Adam and Noah. I thot that was a wonderful verse and thought that if I have four sons that those would be the best names for them.

So I suggested before and do suggest now for baby number three if hubby would consider Noah. But ofcourse we cannot call the baby Noah because that would be sooo Mat Salleh (white man) and hubs is allergic to Mat Salleh ideas. So I thot it has to be Noh. So hubs grunts. "Are you trying to be funny?" And I'm like "Huh?" Then he said "If we name the kid Syed Noh, some joker is going to ask us where is Syed Yes is … don’t you think??" Hahahaha! I didn’t think of that at all really. Its amazing how the word Syed is always on his mind and yet never on mine simply because I'm not one.

The same thing happened when I suggested Zaid. Again I was asked to stop fooling around. Again I was clueless until he pointed out that the name "Syed Zaid" would sound funny not nice!!! Well, if you put it that way yes it is funny!! Heh heh!

So here is baby number three almost at the door - and we haven't any clue what to call him yet. You'd think it would be easy because its not like we are naming the baby with any recognisable format/theme/pattern or anything. Still all the names we have thought of have been rejected by the other party. So we are at our wits end! Hahaha!

As the arguments got wilder the names also went hay wire. This time hubs was in an Indian Muslim mood so - so this baby was almost called Saifuddeen, Kamalludeen, Ridhaudeen. I countered with Johan, Iskandar. He countered with more Indian Muslim names Ziyaudeen, Amirudeen. I countered with Jun Hau, Jordan, Mario. Hubs thot Luigi would be better. Sigh!

There are a few ground rules however.

Hubs' condition

The kids' granddad (hubs' dad) did ask me when Adam was conceived what his name would be. He asked "Nama dia Syed Apa?" . Hubs translated the question from his dad for me - Abah is asking if I would name the child Syed or break tradition. Hubs also told me I don’t have to call the baby Syed if I don’t want to he would not force the issue. But why would I break tradition or even think it is forcing the issue? It’s the children's heritage after all. So they can be Syed no problem. They can also have their famous surname (wink :D ). That's fine. But that means their names must be short - 2 syllables and just one short name. Otherwise they will have impossibly long names.

It was the right decision too, you should have seen the family crowd around to see Adam's birth cert bearing his title and his surname. They were so happy! Ah the pride and sense of belonging that a family name can generate. I should know. My surname is Khan. Our family shares that name with half of Pakistan. However my grandfather would always beam when introducing himself by it, so much so you would think we were the only Khans on earth. :D

My condition

The names must be with the times - not antique names like mine that I feel I just havent even grown into yet until today.

Hubs' condition

No R in the names because he cannot say R. heh!

My condition

The names must be simple and have no theme. Its not that themes are bad - lots of ppl do the theme thing. But I just hate order and synchronisation. I hate themes.

Hubs' condition

Well maybe not hubs' condition but his dad's small request. The names must be able to enter the list. Ah! Bet you are wondering "what is this list?" There is a list of descendents of the prophet Mohammed which is 1400 years old and more. Hubs' family is supposed to be descendents of the last prophet. Hence they are called Syed and there is a list of male heirs for the family tree (and I want to say that I am doing really good supplying 3 names to the list InshaAllah). We have the Muslim version of the DaVinci code going on right here in my backyard I tell you. :)

So anyway any name that is not deemed Islamic is not allowed on that list. So hubs real name is sadly not qualified for the list. After all he is named Rizal and Rizal is not a Muslim/Arabic name! So hubs will be registered as Redza on that list which is acceptable for the registrar and close enough to his real name, and our sons will be bin Redza.

Anyway despite hubs not really being on the list the boys are totally legit because they have Quranic/Biblical names. So future sons should have names which make the list.

My condition

Give a name from the Quran/from the prophet's names because they are good names. But pick a modern sounding name. Ade ke? Heh heh!

Both of us agree

The name must suit the child. Cant have a tough looking brown skinned child (who looks like me) being called Iskandar or a waif like one with fairer than fair skin (who looks like hubs) called Omar.

Well there you go. Its not easy to name a child. Any suggestions?