Adam boy - looking naughty

What does the naughtiest boy on earth look like?
He looks like this! Haha!
He's not naughty lah. Just too smart for his own good.

Random pix of the family ... to many words in this blog

Pak Pandir and Mak Mandir

The story of Pak Pandir and Mak Mandir - is the story of us.

Hubby is soo blur - he is definitely pak pandir ;D
Im always soo frustrated by my hubby - so Im mak mandir :)

Pak Pandir is Malaysia's simple Simon. He is married to Mak Mandir who is his frustrated wife. Pak Pandir does all sorts of crazy things because he is simple minded. My husband is not simple minded , in fact he is a genious of sorts with computers. But he is such a mad professor. he forgets everything - his keys, the other side of his socks, where he put his handphone, where he put my handphone. sigh!

My hubs is a good man - but he is no handy man. He is hopeless at fixing things around the house. I know Ive complained before and havent done so for some time because Ive learnt to live with it. But recently everything in the house broke down and we had to call the repair man and we learnt just how bad the situation had become.

The washing machine broke down just when hubs was asked to do the washing recently. The water wouldnt come out properly from the pipe inside the machine. So in order to fix this situation my Pak Pandir decided to pour water in manually. Every morning he had to monitor that machine and stand beside it during its various cycles of wash, rinse etc to pour in the water strategically. The repair man came and twisted open the pipe from a tap which was quite visible to the naked eye (quite easily done actually). the repair man noticed that there was some sand clogging up the waterway and hosed it down. the repair man called this simple 1 minute action "servicing of washing machine" and charged us RM80 for it.


The maid's toilet would not flush. So hubs asked the maid to throw a bucket full of water after her business. Some maids did it and others didnt, making nanny hopping mad because she had to flush poo down the toilet for the maids. the repair man came and had a look. found that the hose to the water closet was lose and changed it in 2 seconds flat. that cost us rm90.


The fridge broke down as well - it would not be cool. But the freezer was cold. So we had to transfer anything that could rot to the freezer. We had to get the repair man in. Ok this was a complicated case lah we could never have fixed it. I still dunno what went wrong but its fixed now.

Our aircond - just bought - would not be cool the room. So hubby had a solution. We put the temperature at 18 degrees every night AND we turn on the fan - to feel cool. We were convinced that the aircond was too small for our room. the repair man said there was a lot of dust in the aircond and dusted it off for us - for rm30. Its freezing in our bedroom now at 26 degrees and no fan.

Our microwave is also spoilt. it has been for almost 2 years. we havent got round to fixing it. but hubs feels that its ok because its not good to eat microwaved food anyway.

Our bathroom light was on the blink. So hubs put a band aid plaster on the light switch to prevent anyone from pressing that light. the band aid plaster screamed 'rosak' just like they do on vending machines when they do not work :) My mom saw that and had a really good laugh. that shamed my hubs into changing the bulb. in order to do that we had to buy a bulb for rm14 and a ladder for rm150.

But best of all ... our bathroom seats are broken - because we tend to put the baby's bath tub on em to bathe baby. instead of changing the seats, my pak pandir had a great solution. he got some newspaper and put it on the seat so that the broken seat would not pinch our bottoms. some mornings i can actually hear adam asking his dad for fresh newspaper so that he can use the toilet bowl. one morning hubs came out of the toilet laughing while holding the wadded newspaper. i couldnt believe it - he had actually read the paper while pooping!?! he held up the newspaper for me to see and said 'guess who we've been sitting on all this while??' i took a look and saw our poor PM's face! sigh! this can only happen in my house! no offence meant to the PM. this was purely accidental. We have finally got some toilet seats and solved the problem - for now.

And what does Pak Pandir think of all these mishaps?? He thinks its sweet that we've been married soo long that things around the house are getting old and even breaking down!! hahaha! there you have it. do not marry late in life. it addles the brain and you have to be grateful for every little thing.

i love my husband. he makes life - interesting! :D

morbid thoughts vs matter of fact

recently read a book called my sister's keeper and found it soo sad. thank heaven i was just reading /flipping thru it at the airport while waiting for my plane. i dunno about other people but i spent quite a chunk of my 20s feeling miserable - over things that now seem ... well quite inconsequential.

so i made up my mind years ago not to dwell over sad things. trust me its not that easy to do. i've had challenges in my 30s too and some things were pretty hard to overcome - like when our son was very sick.

still when the bad time was over i decided to shelve it and move on. we have to go on no matter how hard it is sometimes.

in the midst of my being determined to be happy this blasted book dwell ed and dwell ed and dwell ed on sad things. then there was a prologue - well 2 actually (one relating to the book and another for a new book i presume) that was even sadder and very sadistic. God this author must be demented. her name is Jodi Picoult by the way. and the book won many awards which was why it was on the best sellers list that i checked out. :)

what can i say - sorrow sells because its what people go through everyday i suppose.

i used to laugh at my sis waing's large collection of chick lit. but u know, there is something to be said for books that don't require much thinking. it feels good to know that there will be a happy ever after for everyone in those books. they are feel good books.

anyway, don't read my sister's keeper - heh heh ... now im sure ive guaranteed that many people will be google ing for it!! haha!

Knock knock

Adam and Imran LOVE the knock knock joke - eventho most of the time when we play it I don't really get the joke - or when I do get the joke , they don’t really get the joke! Haha!

Some variations

Adam :Knock knock
Me :Whos there?
Adam : A chicken? (giggles from both Adam and Imran, confusion from me)
Me : The one that crossed the street?? Hahaha! (Adam and Imran's turn to look blur)

Adam :Knock knock
Me : Whos there?
Imran :A monkey?(Adam and Imran rolling on the floor laughig)
Me : Yup, two monkeys!
Adam : Where Mummy? Where? (looking all around for the monkeys)

Me :Knock knock
Adam : Whos there?
Me : Arch
Adam :Arch who?
Me : Why are you sneezing?? Hahaha!
Adam : I not sneezing mummy. All better now. No medicine! (looking quite scared)

Me : Knock knock
Adam (fumbling with his toy, not focused) : Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Im coming!
Me : Haha! Very funny!
Adam : Why Mummy? Why funny?

Bernice and the thinking chair, Adam and philosophy

Adam came home and told me with that Bernice had to sit on the thinking chair.

The thinking chair is basically the punishment chair. If you are a naughty boy (or girl) you must sit on it and think of what you have done wrong. Obviously Adam spends quite a bit of time in school on the thinking chair and he doesn’t like it one bit.

He would initially come home and tell me that he does not like to sit on the chair. I'd ask "Why not baby? Everyone sits on chairs right?" and poor baby his language skills are still limited so he can only convey that he has to sit in a chair and when he does he cries because he misses Abah and Mummy and Nanny. The teacher finally explained that he has to sit facing a corner when naughty - and I reckon he is naughty quite often! - so he spends quite a bit of time there.

So when someone else sits on 'the chair' Adam is quite vocal about it. "Bernice sit in the chair because Bernice is naughty boy." (actually she is a girl lah but he still thinks everyone is a boy) Then the corners of his mouth turned down and he said "Bernice crying mummy."

I asked : is Bernice your friend?

"No."

But do you like her?

"Oh no."

But you feel sad for her huh?

Yes. But she is naughty boy so its ok.

Who is your friend?

"Corey"

Do you like him?

"Hmmmn. Not really Mummy."
(And honestly isnt that how we feel at times abt friends?)

Do you like school Adam?

"Yes Mummy, I just don’t like teacher."
(And honestly isnt that how we feel about work n bosses?? :) )

I dunno if he is learning his ABCs, but he sure is learning a lot of life's lessons fast!

How to be a good Muslim

A good Muslim is someone who believes in Allah and who follows the guidelines He has set for us. A good Muslim is also a good human being.

Sometimes tho it is hard to be a good Muslim and do the right thing, the Muslim thing, because there are always trials that we need to overcome.

My uncle Sonny passed away in December last year in Burma. When we go back this trip we will certainly go and visit his grave. My uncle Sonny collapsed of a heart attack while having an argument with his daughter over money. His family had seen him collapse but had not gone to his aid because everyone was angry at the time and they heard him snoring afterwards in the front room. They assumed that he was sleeping - tho he was flat on his face ya. Later in the afternoon when his son found him he was dead and stiff.

My uncle Sonny is Muslim but he wed a Roman Catholic lady. Initially the lady had converted to Islam but later reverted to her old faith. In addition, since many of my family members had migrated abroad and my uncle Sonny himself lived mostly in Singapore doing business he did not raise his children. His Roman Catholic wife had raised them single handedly in Burma and raised all three of them to be Christians.

Although she had raised them to be Christians she was always terrified of our largely Muslim family. The average Malay observing our family would always think that we are not staunch enough. But for an average Burmese we are in fact very fanatically Muslim. :D

So my aunt NiNi always downplayed the fact that the fact that they were Christian and would say "InshaAllah, MashaAllah etc etc" in front of my grandma to gain acceptance into the family. Since they were also the poorest family and required financial help from ours they had to do this I suppose. Still I hated the pretence. To me if my aunt was an exemplary Christian - well then all Christians were hypocrites.

The children on the other hand became aggressive Christians. Due to the fact that they felt their faith was overlooked or undermined in my family - they never missed a chance to highlight that they were in fact not Muslim. They would invite us to go carolling with them during Christmas time, they would eat before everyone broke fast in Ramadhan - just to prove a point, I think.

In my honest opinion, we cannot force faith. So I am not insistent that they should act like Muslims when they are so not. I just ask that they respect everyone's faith and behave accordingly. And dont lie to us. We hate that.

As my uncle grew older he became very withdrawn and sad that his children were showing preference to wed Buddhists and did not show an interest in Islam. He became close to my family and assumed a role of a third parent of sorts. Every Eidd he would come to our house in Malaysia for the celebration and was very welcome.

He recounted that when there were arguments with his daughter, she would say "Get out of the house you terrorist. You Indian Muslim. You are not Burmese. Get out." These words would obviously hurt him. He tried hard to gain acceptance for his family in our Muslim family. But towards the end he himself was ousted out of his Christian family into our Muslim home.

The last hari raya, he told his daughter he would rather live in KL with us.

The last argument they had he died.

Eversince he died our family has been very quiet. We have not called or spoken to my uncle's family. We feel in a way that they killed him and we cannot come to terms with it.

When my uncle died suddenly - none of our family members were there to bury him. We were all abroad including my uncle Adrian who lives in Burma but was in Singapore at the time. But we did not trust his Christian family to sort out the burial because we were afraid that they would do the wrong things.

So we asked my sister's husband (who is Burmese Muslim) to ask his parents to sort out the funeral for us. My bro in law's family rushed over and found a preist blessing my uncle. So they took over the burial so that my unc would get a decent Muslim burial.

They called for the ustaz and the mosque to bathe the body and for prayers to be conducted. They saw my uncle right into the ground so to speak. They called my parents to let them know the goings on so that mom wouldn’t worry abt her brother's remains. They congratulated my aunt NiNi for not insisting on a non Muslim burial - not that she would have dared lah. Then they decided to help the widow and her children. They sent food everyday. They called to check on them. They helped my cousin - yes the one that killed her dad - to run the business that she was fighting her dad for. They provided guidance and friendship where they could. They were exemplary Muslims. They were suckers too. But that's what exemplary Muslims are most of the time if you ask me! :D

My aunt Sara from the US - who has a soft heart and a kind Muslim soul - also called them every month to ask how they were. Another sucker to add to the list lah.

My family did not do anything. We were the closest to Sonny and we felt that we should go to the cops in fact for what we deemed as manslaughter. They were lucky we held our peace for so long.
Recently my sis and I decided to go back to Burma. We called unc Adrian. We would have called Sonny too if he had been alive. But we did not call Sonny's family. Many relatives are also going back to Burma this December. So, Sonny's family came to KL to clear their name with my mom in case they are left out during our trip.

We received them with mixed emotions. We tried to do the Muslim thing and hear them out. Tho they would dare to call us terrorists and fought with our uncle until he died - we are to be good Muslims and listen to them (see what I mean? Suckers.)

The amount of confusion felt is not small also. If all this while they felt they had to live a dual life being related to us - now that the Muslim connection is finally dead - why not just go forth and be what they want to be? Why cling on to us - for after all there is no love lost? In fact for my generation - we do not even know our cousins very well lah. Its no loss to anyone to severe these ties.

So anyway they were quite pathetic actually. Made me sad to see people like them. Eventho they cannot identify with us, we must be the only family they know. I can surely say I do not need them. But they obviously need my mom's approval to be happy. So I was not unkind tho I did find it quite hard to be kind.

They downplayed the fact that they did not take my unc to hospital earlier and had left him collapsed in the living room. They highlighted the fact that my unc was in the wrong in the argument. They insisted that they would come pick us up from the airport tho its december and they should be preparing for Christmas. My aunt claimed that she will never again celebrate Christmas in her house (tho God knows how this helps things).

They want to take us around Rangoon. They want to be accepted and to be family. My aunt did some crying.

I dunno. Its sad when people lose faith in what you say. I have long since lost faith in what my aunt says because she is such a hypocrite. Guess she has been that all her life and cannot change at all. And even if she is not being a hypocrite and really crying her eyeballs out - we still think she is lying ... so it’s a real chicken and egg situation.

I just don’t understand why she wants to connect herself to us. Maybe she misses Sonny and we are his family, so she is trying … I dunno.

I can say this much tho. This meeting was significant for me because all our life we have fought for those kids to be Muslim. And all our lives we have had to defend Islam against these people because they would not believe and they looked down on the faith in fact. All our life we have had to justify Islam. When my uncle planned for his kids to study in KL we showed them around town. We promoted KL. Only to have them say KL is not as modern as Singapore and they prefer Singapore because they were afraid to be converted to Islam. Everything we did they misunderstood and thot we were attacking their faith (even when we were not).

But this meeting showed me how sad it was that they are not Muslim. I feel that it is their loss. We have stopped trying. We have given up. In the end it is them who cannot let go.

Would that I could I would be a good Muslim like my bro in law's family. I would show them how good Muslims are to non Muslims tho non Muslims always misunderstand us. Would that I could I would be the bigger person and I would be kind to those who are only unkind. I would be honest to those who cannot tell the truth. I would lead by example and hope they would learn to be like us. And this was what we had always done with this family til we gave up hope last year end.

But at this point in time all I can do is listen to what they have to say and see how it goes from there. I cannot say I forgive. I cannot say l like them very much. I cannot say Im happy with them.

You know, I always think Nik Aziz should get off his high horse and be Muslim - be the bigger person - and try to work things out with Umno. I always think he prays and the like but does not understand how to think like a Muslim. I always judge that old man.

But I cannot blame him. Its hard to be a good Muslim. Sometimes I just cannot rise to the occasion. :)